Fishgirl, Heracles Jr, and Me, Oh My!
by Fishpony
Summary: Formerly titled Just Live Your Life. Demigods are supposed to be strong and brave. So I'm guessing Maxine McCarthy is not the 'hero' you were expecting. Welcome to Max's world. Exploding pie and super hero six year olds await you. Zeus save us.
1. Annoying Little Kids who Talk a lot

**Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson! Or a three story Victorian style house, sadly.**

Chapter One: Pet Peeve #79 Annoying Little Kids who Talk A Lot

I know every girl my age makes the some complaint. Her hair, her nose, her parents (oh the irony)...well me... I've got serious reasons to say my life is screwed up. I've got a mom, dad, and two younger brothers, Lee and Walter. We're not rich but I do have to say we're better off than most people. That's a big reason why people think that I, Maxine Carly McCarthy, have a great life. It only _seems _nice at first but like the Amazon River deadly little fish lurk beneath the surface. Well not fish exactly but, oh you know what I mean. Anyway my mother is this total social butterfly who drags my dad all over the country to all these parties and charity auctions blah blah. Lee is this total brainiac kid who studies for one test or another every Saturday. He triple checks his homework and practices his signature for love letters to a nerdette in his class. That's about the stupidest thing I ever heard. I mean the kid's in 3rd grade!

And Walter has asthma so you can't even play his favorite games (Croquet, ping pong etc) for more than five minutes before he starts coughing. They're both real pale with ruler straight light brown hair and bluish green eyes. Besides being pale I look nothing like them. I have really bouncy curly dark brown hair with dark eyes. I look more like my mom. Walter and Lee looks my dad.

And since my mom couldn't bear leaving us alone for days on end she hired a full time nanny when I was four. Her name is Ms. Root she was about fifty years old and I hated her immediately. Her name reminded me of math and I hate math. Also I have a few pet peeves. #105 People who pretend to like you and give you complements when they really hate you, #46 older people who slather makeup on instead of wrinkle cream. Unfortunately Ms. Root did both of those. I'd come down in the morning and she's be putting on mascara and eyeliner. Then she'd turn to me and say, "Dear, your hair looks so nice that way." Then I'd turn right around and climb up the stair back to my room so I could redo my hair. Don't take Ms. Roots advice, ever. I did once. I later learned that dressing like a pioneer was just not the way to make friends.

Many therapists think that my not so spectacular home life is the reason that all that...stuff happened last summer. Namely the kidnapping/running away thing and the mass destruction of property. Those therapists don't know anything. Or at least not anything real. Here's what really happened.

It all started when I was born. Skip a few yearsand now it's a week and half before school ended. I went to Ronald Reagan K-12; it's so stupid to put Elementary, Middle and High school all in the same building. Even if it is the Godzilla of informational facilities. I had woken up after slamming my alarm clock into the wall, took a shower, got dressed (in my favorite shirt, it said: Some nights I look up at the stars and wonder…where the heck did the roof go?!), and went downstairs for breakfast. Ms. Root can't make anything edible so usually in the morning I just eat some cereal and chocolate. But mom and dad were back from their charity auction for Save the Endangered Purple Octopus so mom had made eggs and bacon. Everyone else was already up. Walter was sneezing and rubbing his nose because of his allergies. Dad passed him a tissue. Lee was alphabetizing his food; I swear that kid needs help.

Dad turned and smiled at me, "Good morning kiddo!"

I grunted. My dad was nice but he paid Ms. Root and that is not something I can forgive him for. I plopped myself down in a seat. We're not filthy rich so we didn't have any maids or housekeepers or anything. It was only our family and Ms. Root. I helped myself to some eggs. "Good morning, the mother of all oxymorons." I grumbled.

My mother strode in with Ms. Root right behind her. Mom passed out vitamins to all of us and Ms. Root plopped down my pill and a glass of water. I groaned. I have ADHD and dyslexia and Ms. Root had had this brilliant idea to have me medicated. Mom backed her up by saying I couldn't control myself without it but that wasn't true. Weird things just happened. Like no matter what Patty Harp said I didn't put bread crumbs in her hair to attract pigeons. They just attacked and they weren't normal pigeons. They had bronze beaks and demon eyes. Nobody believed me. Than there had been the time when evil chicken people tried to break through my bedroom window. That had led to a bunch of visits to the physiatrist. I stared at the pill. I had nothing to do with any of the bad things that happened to me. But maybe… it was all in my mind and the medicine would make it go away. I swallowed the pill.

Nat scored another goal as her teammates cheered her on. I sighed. Nat was a member of the Roses. The most popular girls in the school, made up of Kristy, Gabby and Nat. They weren't mean or divas but I didn't dare try to join them. I just wouldn't be able to click on to what they were saying. I didn't seem to be able to scale the popularity ladder at my school. All the other kids just ignored me. I was a good soccer player but whenever I joined in the line of kids who wanted to play during recess I was always looked over. So I hid in the bushes and watched everybody play instead. Pathetic.

"Who are we spying on?" I almost jumped five feet in the air. I hadn't realized anybody else was hiding out here. Right next to me was this scruffy blond little kid. His clothes were all grass stained and he smelled like peanut butter, one of the many things Walter was allergic to. He couldn't have been older than seven. "_We _are not spying on anyone! Who the…heck are you?" I hissed, just barely remembering to watch my language. He grinned; two of his teeth were missing.

"I'm Toby! Who are you spying on? Why aren't you playing with those kids? You can curse in front of me if you want, I won't tell anyone!" He babbled.

I couldn't hear myself think. "Look kid, aren't you supposed to be in class? It's not recess time for little kids."

He pouted, "I'm not a little kid! I'm six!! We had a mean substitute and she didn't like me so I came out here. Now why are you hiding? What's your name? Do you have any friends?" Toby continued.

I grabbed his arm. This was so ugh... Pet peeve #79 Annoying kids who talk a lot. "Shush!" I pulled him out from behind the bush and headed back toward the school. Now I had to take the future FBI interrogator back to class, great.

"Where are we going? Why are you pulling my arm? Are you going to make me go back to class?" Toby frowned.

I sighed really loudly. "Do you ever stop to take a breath?" I asked exasperated.

"No." He said grinning wider. Just then a girl ran up to me.

"Toby!" It was Kristy, yeah the most popular girl in school Kristy. She had shiny gold hair and a perfect tan, even though it wasn't even summer break yet. She smiled at me. I was almost blinded by her teeth's perfect whiteness. I bet those teeth could be used as currency in some third world country. She grabbed Toby's other arm and started to help me drag him to class. Then I learned that she had to be related to him because then she started talking, nonstop.

"Toby! Why do you always sneak out of class? You know that's wasting our parent's tax dollars! And don't make any excuses either! I'm gonna make sure you'll be grounded for the rest of the week!" I stifled a giggle. That surprised me because I'm not the giggling type. As we went to go through the big double doors at the front of the school I noticed something odd. Ms. Root's car, an ugly purple bug was in the parking. What was she doing here?

We finally dragged Toby back to the kindergarten hallway, protesting all the way.

"If you bring me back there I'll DIE!" He said dramatically, trying to cling on to the fire extinguisher. "No you won't." I snapped. The kid was putting up a good fight. So this was how fishermen felt. We deposited him in front of Mrs. Jones's door. She was out on maternity leave and the school was having a hard time finding a replacement. So I wasn't surprised when someone I'd never seen before opened the door. She was tall with her long brown hair in a braid. I don't know, for some reason she looked just too…_regal_ to be a substitute teacher. She looked at Kristy and me warmly but looked at Toby like someone would look at a dog if it puked all over your expensive carpet.

As she bent closer I saw her name tag, it said Mrs. Peafowl. I stifled another giggle. I wondered if the reason she didn't like Toby was because he made fun of her name. She sniffed disdainfully and grabbed a hold of Toby's arm. He winced. That worried me somehow. She didn't seem to care that she was hurting him. She gave of this aura. It was sort of scary. "Umm I think you're hurting him," I said.

She looked at me and gave me a fake sort of smile, "Maxine, have you ever wanted to be famous?" That caused me to take an involuntary step back. My little sugar craved brain whirred. How did she know my name? What's with the weird questions? Why was Kristy just standing there in a trance like a stupid cow?

"Yes…I guess?" I replied hesitantly.

Mrs. Peafowl smiled, "Than stay away from this…_child,_" she said gesturing to Toby who had slunk back into the classroom.

"Yes Ms." I replied. She nodded, satisfied and went back into the classroom. I hauled butt out of there.

Wow, that medicine had done nothing for my ADHD. That was so weird! Kristy was apparently now freed from her trance. She followed me. Recess was over and it would be time for lunch soon.

"Hey Max!" Kristy called after me.

"Yeah?" I asked. I was sort of worried that she would go into a vegetative state again.

"You should sit with us today," she said, whipping a little tube of lip gloss out of her purse. The roll kind that looked like a mini stick of deodorant. She started to rub it on her lips.

"Who?" I asked dumbly. Her stupid makeup had reduced me to one syllable words.

"Gabby, Nat and me. The 'Roses'," she giggled. Yes! The one good thing that has happened to me today!

"Oh sure! I just need to go back to class; you know Mrs. Folks hates me." I replied. She giggled again.

When I got back to class there was an unpleasant surprise waiting for me. Georgina, the school smart girl. Supposedly she knew pi to a thousand places. It was cool to be smart so of course she was popular. The Roses wouldn't let her in for some reason so she created her own group. Everyone called them the Geek Force Four. Georgina, Whitney, Hannah, and Dezzy (AKA Ditzy Dezzy or D&D). It was a widly disputed fact how D&D got into the Geek Force Four. Nobody had come to a conclusion just yet.

Georgina smirked at me and Kristy stiffened. "So Maxy, I didn't know you were a member of the Flowers. Are you going to do cheerleading? At least you'll be able to get to the top of the pyramid, unlike Kristy. I heard that all those burgers go straight to your hips," that was really lame, Kristy was so thin that our health teachers had a specially class about eating disorders just for her. Just then Nat came practically skipping right next to us. She was tall with dark skin and really pretty wavy black hair.

Her brownish- green eyes glinted as she said, "Oh really? Well you should know, your brother works at McDonald's right?"

Just when things were about to get going Mrs. Folks came stomping down the hallway. Boy if anyone needed to lay off the burgers it was her. She was about two hundred pounds overweight. Her lips were pursed and her beady little eyes were searching, like a mole trying to find a slimy worm. She caught sight of me and started to say in a voice that seemed out of breath and flustered.

"I was just in the teacher's lounge planning the lessons."

Nat bent over and whispered so only Kristy and I could hear, "Translation: I was in the teacher's lounge eating the left over doughnuts."

Mrs. Folks seemed to sense we were making fun of her but she continued, "And I received an urgent telephone call from one of my coworkers and you Maxine McCarthy are in so much trouble! You will have enough homework to last you till college! Detention for a month!" She was foaming at the mouth now and I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. Nat raised her hand innocently.

"What!" Mrs. Folks cried, like an angry goose.

Nat tilted her head, "Shouldn't you read her her rights?"


	2. Silence is Golden Duct Tape is Silver

**Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson, a Ferrari or duct tape**

Chapter Two: Silence is Golden, Duct Tape is Silver

"Ouch." Gabby muttered. We were retelling the whole incident to her at the Rose's lunch table.

"Curse words all over her chalk board." Kristy repeated, eating a cheese stick.

"Yeah and it's kinda stupid that she thought I did it. I can't even spell them." I said mournfully poking my fruit salad with a fork.

"I didn't even _know _a lot of those words!" Nat said grinning. Then she frowned, "It sucks for you though." I slurped my milk shake; I never buy cafeteria food because they don't serve milkshakes,

"Thanks for your concern Nat."

"Yeah I sort of made it worse didn't I?" She asked. Kristy snorted into her pudding and managed to pull it off with dignity.

"_That's _the understatement of the century!"

Gabby nodded, "More like millennium."

I decided to butt in, "More like…whatever comes after millennium." Nat laughed really hard, then suddenly stopped and blew bubbles in her chocolate milk. I stared at her for a minute, "You are one weird little child." She flashed me a winning smile. Wow this was fantastic! I actually had friends, emphasis on _friends. _That may seem lame to you but here is my history of friendship.

Kindergarten: 1 friend

First grade: 0 friends

Second grade: 1 friend (who moved in the middle of the year)

Third grade: 1 friend

Fourth grade: 1 friend (then I caught her kissing my crush)

Fifth grade: 1 friend (but he was a guy)

So this was a major development for me.

I had gym next. Nat and I. We were in the same class, with Mrs. Fat Folks. Kristy and Gabby lucked out when they got Mr. Martinez (Who happens to be Gabby's dad) but they have to put up with Georgina, Whitney, and Hannah. D&D was in our class but without the rest of the Geek Force Four she was helpless.

Sports are the bane of my existence. They are only on earth to torment me and every football within a five mile radius instantly zooms in on me like a heat-seeking missile. I tried telling that to Coach Kick (that's his actual name) but he just told me to get in squads with the other girls. Nat thinks it's sexist that the girls have to practice cheerleading while the guys practice football but I disagree. It's not the fact that girls are weaker it's the fact that girls have much better things to do than break our bones and bash our heads together. Nat oddly didn't understand my point of view.

"Ready to show Coach Kick our cheer!?" Nat asked excitedly.

"No." Patty Harp grumbled. (Remember her?)

"Neither am I, really." I said, raising my eyebrows.

"Too bad," She turned to Coach Kick, "We're ready!" He gathered the rest of the class over. D&D tried to look superior with a hair flip but failed miserably after her frizzy red braids fell in her face. Nat stepped forward confidently with Patty and I falling in beside her. We waved our blue and yellow pompoms (Color of Ronald Reagan, home of the fighting Trojans!) And burst into cheer, complete with really stupid choreography.

"How funky is your chicken? How loose is your goose? Come on everybody and shake your caboose!"

I'm not even going to describe our movements. It's too embarrassing. To my mortification everyone in the gym burst out laughing.

D&D snorted like a pig, "Hey, you guys suck!" A few Geek Force Four wanna be's laughed along with her.

Nat smiled and raised her pompoms, "I've got a cheer for you!" She made up her own moves, way better than ours.

"U-G-L-Y you ain't got no alibi you ugly! Uh-huh! You ugly!"

The thing about Ditzy Dezzy is that when she gets insulted she completely looses it, "Stop making fun of me!" She cried. And then she and Nat got in a real catfight. I'm glad nobody thought to involve me in this. My mom had trained me in anti-kidnapping procedures, like karate. A couple of kicks thrown in there would have been messy. But I have to agree with D&D on one thing. Silence truly is golden.

Eventually Nat and D&D got pulled apart and hauled to the principal's office. I saw them in detention that afternoon. I was trying to figure something out. Who got me in all this trouble? The Geek Force Four? Possibly, Hannah, Whitney and Dezzy could have written those words on the board while Georgina was distracting us. It doesn't seem like their style though. There was one other option, Ms. Root.

The next day as I was waiting expectantly for mom to take me to school.

She called to me from the dining room, "Did you take your pill?"

"Uh-huh." I replied. Lie, after the day I had yesterday I wouldn't have taken that pill for a million dollars.

"Good. Jeremy is taking you took school. I don't want you riding the bus anymore."

I smacked my head with my palm, "Not Jeremy!" Jeremy was my irresponsible cousin. My irresponsible rich cousin who owns a Ferrari and drives with shades on, or _tries _to drive at least.

"Yes honey." I gagged; my mom never called me honey unless she wanted me to agree with her.

"Jeremy will be driving you to school for the rest of the school year." I almost died before I realized that it was only a week or so.

I crawled carefully into my cousin's car. I made sure to buckle my seat belt.

Jeremy chuckled. "Only a loser like you would wear a seatbelt." He revved the engine.

"Only idiots who enjoy having their head separated from their body don't wear seatbelts." I retorted. Then we started our 15 minute ride of terror.

"Oh my God! That's another pedestrian you almost made road kill!"

Jeremy frowned and turned sharply right, "He ran for it in time!"

I clutched the door handle in panic, "Red light! Red! Red!" We squealed to a stop. I relaxed briefly. "So you got any gossip for me?" Jeremy was up to date on all the family news. He rubbed his perfectly shaved chin.

"Well yeah, it's about you."

"What? What? Tell me!" I begged. What disappointed Aunt Ruth now? My mad karate skills or my apparent lack of busts? The light turned green and we zoomed off at 95 miles per hour. He admired himself in one of the million mirrors that he kept in his car, which smelled of lilac perfume from one of his many girlfriends. He claimed that he had a blond in every state, except Alaska. He had a redhead in Alaska.

"Well, you know how you were born six months after the wedding?" I couldn't answer because I was too busy screaming as we almost ran over a family of tourists. They snapped pictures as we skidded around them.

"I'll take that as a yes. It doesn't really matter anyway. Well approximately three months before they got married your parents, Aunt Caroline and Uncle Louis, hit a rough patch in they're relationship. They made up of course and the wedding still happened as planned but your father was convinced that your mom was cheating on him. Sooo…" Jeremy waited for it to sink in and parked in the principal's spot at school, her car was already in it though. That bumper was going to need a little more than a paint job. I glared at him so hard I might have burned a bald patch into that spiky blond head of his. Who did he think was to come and force this knowledge on to me and scar my fragile young mind? Okay, I had asked him to but still! I forced the door open and walked huffily away. I gave the principal's Mercedes a good kick. Then the car alarm went off. I hate my life.

To top it all off it started raining so we didn't have recess and they just sent everybody to the gym. Full blown dodge ball war. Geek Force Four supporters (including one random teacher) against Roses supporters. The goths and band nerds didn't play and I saw the Pikachu fan club playing a Pokémon card battle in the bathroom. Nat and Kristy could turn those balls into deadly missiles. But I was the one who had the idea to take off our shoes and slide across the gym floor. The bad news was somebody stole my only pair of none dress shoes. So I fell down in the hallway and got sent to the nurse. She doesn't really do anything, just takes your temperature and says, "Go to the bathroom." When I returned to class Mrs. Folks had given the class a timed geography test. So I had about two minutes to complete twenty fill in the blank questions before I got an F. So I just put the capitals as the name of the state plus the word city. Though I have to say "North Carolina City' sure looked weird.

So that was my day. I'm waiting for Jeremy to pick me up. He's always at least an hour late. I have four math worksheets for homework and I got a D- on my geography quiz. Oh and guess what? It's STILL RAINING!! It was nice of Nat to lend me her umbrella. She's over on the school yard splashing around in puddles with Toby. I think that child's been stalking me. At least he didn't ask me to splash in scummy water. I hate when water seeps into your clothes and makes you feel like a wet pickle. Nobody else seems to mind. Whenever it thunders I scream, Nat jumps and Toby tries to make an even bigger noise to top it.

"Excuse me! I know you kids are told not to talk to strangers but I have to get to 1524 Apple Mint!" A lady called. She just stepped out of her car in the Kid Pick-up section. She's wearing a long coat and a long…white shirt I think? Toby runs forward, "That's my house!" She looks at him, worried, "Are your parents Kathy and Marcus Colson?" Toby shuffled anxiously, "No, I'm adopted." Well I didn't know that. He must just have been raised by talkative people. Speaking of family where is Kristy? She went inside to use the bathroom and hasn't come back yet. I was getting nervous.

"Oh dear…" The woman said obviously trying to look haggard, but I saw the slightest trace of a smirk on her face. I knew she was lying. Nat rushed forward and grabbed Toby's arm as I clenched my fist.

"Look lady, if you're some crazy kidnapper and you're just making this up to make…my little _cousin _get in the car with you then get lost! I have the police on speed dial on my cell phone!" I shouted, hoping my voice didn't let on that it was a lie. The woman smiled wider, "You don't have a cell phone. None of you do. You're friend is unconscious in the hallway. By the time the staff our finished taking care of her you'll be far away."

Fear crept up my spine. I went into karate stance ready to kick someone's nose into they're brain. Someone approached me from behind. I whirled around and tried to punch them in the face. But my attacker grabbed my hand and started to twist my arm. Tears of pain squeezed out of my eyes and I futility tried to beat the man with my other fist. I wished I had held on to Nat's umbrella but it lay forgotten in the grass a few feet away.

Nat let out a cry of fear and pain as another forced her to the ground. Toby ran toward me yelling a battle cry but the man didn't even look up as he kicked Toby in the stomach, making him double over and knock the wind right out of him. I let out a scream of rage and found enough strength inside me to strike my captor in the eye. He cursed and punched me in the head and pushed me to the ground. I hit the mud and I couldn't get up. The men forced our hands behind our backs and bound them with tough cord. The woman who started it all grinned at me and held up her hand, "how many fingers am I holding up half-blood?" She asked.

I wondered what a half-blood was. I squinted up at her fingers, everything was blurry. "Um…eleven?" Toby looked puzzled,

"You have eleven fingers?"

They loaded us, not into the woman's car but into an exterminator van. Before they closed the door to lock us in the woman held up a roll of duct tape, 'Shut them up."

**AN: Anyone who can guess Max and Jeremy's godly parents will get a character of their own creation in my story. So fill this out:**

**Max's parent: **

**Jeremy's parent:**

**Your original character's name:**

**Gender:**

**Description:**

**Personality:**

**Godly parent:**


	3. Aint Family Reunions Special?

**Disclaimer: My name is not Rick!!!!!!**

Chapter Three: Ain't family Reunions Special?

I don't know how it looks so cool on T.V. but being kidnapped wasn't fun. You can't scream with duct tape covering your mouth, though we could manage a few pathetic whimpering noises. The van smelled funny, Nat's elbow was in my ribs and I had an itch that I couldn't scratch. Why were we being kidnapped? Ransom probably. My family had always been pretty rich. Nat's dad was pretty big in the movie business and Toby's adopted parents were both respected doctors who were making lots of money. I figured that half-blood was an insult or something. We could see our three captors. They shrugged off they're rain coats revealing white lab coats. What was up with that? The woman turned to us. I could finally get a close look at her. She had long brown hair, a thin cruel mouth and cold blue eyes. So unlike Toby's which were always happy and searching.

I had a horrible thought, isn't seeing your kidnapper's faces a sure sign that they're going to kill you? Oh my God we were going to die.

Percy's POV

"So we have to wait here for an exterminator van to drive by and then somehow stop it?" I asked Annabeth. It was a rainy day in New York and instead of being inside watching T.V or whatever; we were under an umbrella planning how to end our lives early. Well not my life to be technical and that's what worried me. Annabeth rolled her eyes,

"That's what Hermes said Seaweed Brain." It was true, ever since the end of the Second Titan War we had been getting so many requests from the gods to help their children get safely to camp. But this one was more dangerous. A speeding van and tree kidnappers who are supposedly armed. Not the sort of thing I would want to bring someone who hasn't bathed in the River Styx into. Annabeth noticed my expression,

"Don't worry Percy; you'll come out of it in one piece." I couldn't think of anything cool to say, my comebacks were very lacking for a 17 year old, so I just said,

"Uh duh." Then I spotted the van and walked into the middle of the road.

Max's POV

Have you ever felt you were three seconds away from death? Because I sure did when we squealed to a halt and started spinning on the wet road. When your arms and legs can't independently move it's very hard to stop yourself from bumping into things. I wasn't really counting but I suppose our heads bumped together about fifty-two times. Our driver used many colorful swears, most of which I had seen on the chalkboard at school. Finally we lurched to a halt after running over many items, none of which, I think, were alive. Our kidnappers were out like a light. Unfortunately so was Toby.

A window had shattered, showering glass all over us. Toby's forehead was cut and his hair was sticky with blood. Nat's screams were muffled by the duct tape but I'm not sure if she was the only one who screamed.

Finally someone pried open the doors. I was afraid it was more kidnappers but it was only to teenagers. A girl with curly blond hair and gray eyes and a strong boy with black hair and green eyes. They lifted us out of the van carefully and I thrashed when my leg hit something, I must have fractured it. They carefully removed the duct tape but it still stung. Once my limbs were free I immediately started to sob. Brocken scared sobs. I don't know what I was sobbing about, Toby's condition, my rotten day or maybe even the fact that my mom betrayed my dad by cheating on him. I knew right there that I was of no relation to the man I'd called dad all my life. The blond girl tried to comfort me and poured some liquid on my leg and random bruises. It made the pain go away but I still felt a deep anger in the pit of my stomach. The boy was taking care of Toby, pouring the same liquid on his head. Nat just huddled in the cold and shivered. Toby started to mutter. Stuff about "rain" and "peafowl" and "mommy and daddy" I don't really remember much after that but the next thing I knew we were in a Prius driving somewhere.

We rode and silence for a while. This was surprising because I thought Toby would be asking questions. But he just clutched my left arm and Nat's left arm and held on to them like life lines. I was losing circulation in my hand. My stomach tumbled with fear and anger. Eventually the blond girl turned around,

"I'm Annabeth, and this is Percy. We're going to ask you some weird questions…no we're going to tell you some weird facts and then ask some weird questions." Percy chuckled. I just stared blankly. I felt like my whole life had been erased. Annabeth took a breath,

"You all have ADHD and dyslexia. You have weird dreams and odd fears. Things have happened to you and nobody believes you or saw them. You only have one parent." That's the part that restarted my brain like an electric shock,

"You know about the chicken people and my mom cheating and…" I trailed off. Everything she said was true. "I live with my dad and I have ADHD and dyslexia." Nat said nervously. "I'm adopted!" Toby said proudly, he thought that being adopted was like a blessing or something. Percy nodded, "And the monsters that you've been seeing will only get worse if we don't take you to this place. I replayed my entire life in my head. The huge dog that had lurked around my house when I was seven. A girl named Jamie turning into a creature with odd legs and hair made of flames in fourth grade. "But what about the people who kidnapped us?" Nat asked, "They weren't monsters." Annabeth bit her lip. "I don't know about that. I hate not knowing! Did they call you anything?"

"Half-bloods." I answered immediately. "They called us half-bloods."

"My dad is a god!?" I asked dumbfounded. Percy and Annabeth had just finished their "Greek mythology is real." Talk. But it was just sinking in now.

"And my mom is a goddess!" Nat said excitedly. This seemed to fulfill her wildest dreams. Her mom was not some random woman but a powerful goddess.

"When will we find out who our mommy's or daddy's are? Soon? Five minutes?" Toby pleaded. Percy opened the car door.

"Soon. Nat and Max are almost thirteen right?" I nodded. He had told us we would be claimed before we turned thirteen. We walked toward a big hill with a huge pine tree on top. A dragon was curled around it guarding a golden sheep skin,

"Welcome to Camp Half-Blood!"

Percy and Annabeth gave us the grand tour of camp. We saw all the cabins. There were a lot. The shiny gold Apollo cabin, the sea stone Poseidon cabin and misty looking Morpheus cabin were only a few of the ones we saw. We would be staying in the unclaimed cabin, a plain white building. I hoped we wouldn't be staying there for long. It was a pretty big drop from new member of the Roses to unclaimed loser. It was really weird because it wasn't raining in the camp. But I of course, still felt like a wet pickles, no scratch that a _jar _of wet pickles.

After our tour was over we just wandered around camp. I spotted a girl by the fire in the center of the cabin square. Toby ran up to her to say hi. That kid was so friendly. We walked some more. Nat just took everything in with big wide eyes. Big wide brown eyes with bright green flecks that caught the light like prisms. See Mrs. Folks! I'm not an epic fail when it comes to poetry! Suddenly Nat grabbed my hand and pointed into the canoe lake.

"Look! Look!" She gasped.

I looked into the lake. I saw two girls sitting at the bottom of the lake. Brunettes, both of them. Fish swam around them and they looked up at us thoughtfully. Nat waved. They smiled slightly and waved back.

"Naiads," a familiar voice said. "They usually don't like girls. But those two seem polite enough. I whirled around to see the grinning face of my cousin Jeremy.

My first feeling was one of anger. He seemed to sense that I was about to punch him in the chest because he tried to grab my hand. I was not going to fall for that for the second time so at the last second my hand went up and smacked him instead.

His shades fell off, "Gods! Calm down little cousin! You're acting like there's myrmekes in your pants!"

I wasn't satisfied yet, "You stop moving! I need you to stand still so I can punch you!" Nat was holding me back now, crap that girl was strong. By now Jeremy had moved out of range. A tall blond girl had joined him. She was abnormally pretty, if I had to take a guess I would say she was in the Aphrodite cabin.

She clapped her hands together, "Aww isn't that cute? She's your little cousin right?"

I didn't like her. How anyone could think that anyone trying to hospitalize their older cousin was cute I would never know. I managed to shrug Nat off and I smiled sweetly, "You must be one of Jeremy's _girlfriends."_

The affect was instantaneous; she scowled and turned to Jeremy who was looking pretty hot around the collar.

"What's she talking about? You know this wouldn't be the first time an Apollo boy has cheated on me!"

Jeremy gulped, "Don't mind her Jennifer, she's a little crazy."

"Who's Jennifer?" The Aphrodite girl asked, furious.

"I mean _honey._"

Nat and I laughed all the way to our cabin. I guess it made sense that Jeremy was a son of Apollo. He was hot, a real ladies man, and he was weirdly artistically. His love notes to all his many babes rhymed and had his email account overflowing. He had an expensive cell phone that he never used. I finally knew why now. But something still bothered me. Jeremy's mom was married and had been married for about twenty-one years now.

**AN: So now you know who Jeremy's Godly parent is. I'm still not telling you Max's. My question is going to get harder now. Who is Toby's godly parent? Some of you might have picked it up on chapter 1. So if you think that was easy who is Nat's? You'd be surprised how difficult that question actually is. Also I'm trying to think of a better title for this story. Any ideas? **


	4. I Will Make These Demigods Disappear

**Diclaimer: If I owned Percy Jackson I would not bother writing fanfiction.**

Chapter Four: And for My Next Trick! I Shall Make These Demigods Disappear!

It was dinner time and Nat, Toby and I sat at our table along with another girl. I have to say she was the kind of girl who would normally wander to my empty lunch table and pretend I didn't exist. Her hair was a black mess with purple highlights. It looked like the wind had grabbed it and personally tied it in a knot. She was rocking out on her ipod and her socks didn't match. Pet Peeve #54 Girls who obviously don't fit in and act like they do. At least I admitted I was a bit of a loser before the Roses.

Chiron stood up. It was a little hard to get used to the idea that our activities director was part horse. In first grade at my old school, (Percy found it odd that I'd only changed schools once. Nat and Toby switched schools at least four times.) We had gone to a farm for a field trip. A horse bit me and I screamed and fell in the pig pen. We had to go home after that.

"To the gods!" Chiron said, raising his glass.

Everyone including me raised their glasses. "To the gods!"

We were served by wood nymphs and that food looked even better than my mom's. And that is saying something. The girl sitting on the other side of the table removed her headphones, "Root beer." Her glass filled with brown foamy soda. She glanced up at us, "I'm Julia, by the way."

I asked for a milkshake and Nat asked for Pepsi. I think Toby might have been about to order Mountain Dew or something but I forced him to have apple juice; I did not want to see that kid on caffeine.

We loaded our plates and we all went to the fire and dropped a portion of our food into the flames. Nat was in front of my and silently prayed hard, finding out whom her mother was must be really important to her. I wanted to know my dad's identity, but then I was going to have a bone to pick with him. You don't have affairs with engaged women.

Mr. D got up and sighed. He looked unbelievably bored. "Hello small children. The next capture the flag is tomorrow and the Apollo cabin holds the laurels,"

Jeremy received lots of high-fives and cheers from his half brothers. Most of them were no older than us. But they all had very good looks. If I had to date anyone here at camp it would be one of them.

Mr. D pretended like the outburst didn't happen, "Yes blah blah. We have three new campers today. Tommy, Marie and Nina."

Some snickers all around.

"Oh yes, Toby, Nat and Max." Mr. D corrected.

I felt a million pairs of eyes on us. Toby waved to everyone, I just sat there and Nat blushed. Then from the Apollo table came a whistle.

That night we went to our cabin. Julia fell asleep immediately but Nat, Toby and I took longer. When Nat finally did fall asleep I was kept awake because she snored like a lawnmower. After stealing a few pitiful hours of rest I was shaken out of my light doze by Toby.

"Max!!!"

Gods that kid seemed to have decided I was his protector or something. Nat muttered and rolled over.

I raised my head groggily, "What is it Toby?"

"I'm scared." He whimpered.

No duh, "Why are you scared?" I asked trying to reign in my irritation.

"I think someone's out to get me." He said peeking over the top bunk.

"And why would that be?" I wondered, drifting off into sleep.

"I made a burnt offering to the Flying Pizza God."

That was only the beginning of my problems. We actually had to do stuff here at camp that I didn't like. Arrows and footballs are now on the same level of hate in my mind. I like sword fighting though. Canoes however, they felt unstable all the time and I was deposited in the lake many times. I felt more like canned corn now than a wet pickle. Also Toby followed me around like a little puppy now. Nat thought that was hilarious. One day, Toby claims, that we were going to get married and live on top of Mt. Everest. Well the Apollo boys have different plans. I'm pretty sure if it was up to Arcus, an athletic blond boy with striking hazel eyes, we would date passionately until we turned 17 and then run off to get married in Vegas. Really I'd rather just stay single. I mean if my choices right now are a bunch of flighty preteens and a six year old talkative kid I think I'm going to postpone my decision for a while. But Arcus and his twin Adonis are dead set on getting double dates. Adonis gets Nat and Arcus gets me. The reason I'm not happy about this is because I'm more of a loner. I'm not going to pledge myself to Artemis but I'm not going to get hooked up either. Jeremy is for once on the same side as me. But for different reasons.

"It's sort of gross," he complained. "I mean she's my cousin."

Arcus sighed dreamily, "Yeah but you're only related by marriage."

Needless to say Toby was not happy with this arrangement. When Arcus blew a kiss at me while we were practicing javelin throwing he stomped his foot and yelled, "You're all poopy heads!"

He just laughed, making Toby angrier. I distracted him by throwing a javelin crazily, almost decapitating half the Aphrodite cabin who were sitting in the grass gossiping and doing each other's hair. The Aphrodite cabin seemed to have something against me now. Nat also. I had a feeling it was because we had drawn the attention of the Apollo cabin. Pet Peeve #82 girls who don't realize that guys like girls with personality.

In fact I have a feeling that Aphrodite herself might be out to get us. This morning our cabin had a swarm of doves around it. Fortunately we had some shields for us to use to protect our heads from…what comes out of birds. If we hadn't its safe to assume we would have become, using the great words of Toby. "Poopy heads" I swear though, those birds were aiming for us.

A couple of days into camp I woke up to lots of worried voices in the middle of the night. I wasn't that willing to get up. I had tried to write a letter to my mom. It hadn't gone very well because I kept getting angry and when I get angry my spelling gets worse and my dyslexia acts up. So after three hours I basically had a hate letter that even spell check couldn't save. I crumpled it up and flushed it down the toilet.

So anyway it took me a while to get up. But when I did I knew I was going to regret it. Every demigod was up milling around in huddled masses. Even the Aphrodite cabin with their hair up in curlers. I didn't see our cabin mate Julia though and that was odd. Everyone was worried, angry or grieving. Nat pushed pass me to talk to Adonis. I knew she liked him but was too proud to show it. She wanted to play hard to get.

"What happened?" Nat asked worriedly. She shuffled her feet like she always did when she was nervous. A realization hit me like an electric shock. The peppy carefree girl she had been had vanished the day she came to cap. She was now a preoccupied teen ready and wary.

Adonis opened his mouth to answer, but before he could Madeleine Pierre stepped forward and got all in Nat's face. She was one of Aphrodite's daughters and she was French too. "Like you don't know? You corpse breathed worm!" Then she started cussing her out in French.

Nat raised her eyebrows and smirked tauntingly, "Sorry, I don't speak b-." I covered Toby's ears just in time. He could stick with poopy head for now. Madeleine gasped and the rest of the Aphrodite cabin gasped along with her. Adonis smiled a bit.

Adonis stepped forward and put a hand on Nat's shoulder.

"Don't be ridiculous Madeleine! How could Nat…and Toby and Max kidnap Julia, Crusoe and Ida?"

I didn't really know anyone of those three even though Julia was my cabin mate. Crusoe was a boy from the Hermes cabin and Ida was (surprise!) a girl from the Aphrodite cabin but really, that was about it. For a couple more minutes we just mingled and talked worriedly about how they had managed to disappear. The theories were sort of stupid and made no sense. One idea was that Nat and I had stabbed them and dumped their bodies in the lake. Can you guess who was spreading that around? I have no idea how that even was tolerated but at least half of the campers at least heard those stupid airheaded models out. Another much more likely theory was that a Titan or enemy demigod was taking revenge on the camp by kidnapping campers. Sometime during the speculation Madeleine approached me. Her make-up that she must have applied recently was running down her cheeks but her expression was high and mighty.

She practically spat words at me, "You think you're so untouchable don't you? You're playing dark and mysterious for my ex-boyfriend hm? Well prophecies _never _end happily and I promise you I will eagerly await your death! After your shameful exile from camp of course. Then who will be superior? Even now I tower over you because as long as you're unclaimed and have no one to speak on your behalf you won't escape justice!"

I was too stunned to speak for a minute. Her cruel words were unrelated to what had happened that I was speechless. But she had taken a jibe at my status here at camp and in some ways, at the father who hadn't bothered to claim me until now. I was prepared to totally rough this girl up when I heard a chorus of victorious grunts and howls.

Adonis gasped, "The monsters got through the camp borders!"

**AN: Dun dun dun!!!!!!**


	5. Superman's Got Nothing On Toby

**Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson or super strength, sadly. **

Chapter Five: Superman's Got Nothing on Toby

I doubt you've ever seen a full scale riot but I assure you it's not pretty. Campers were running everywhere screaming, monsters howled with glee and bloodlust, and some of us tried to fight off the intruder. Somebody tossed me a spear and the nearest monster I saw, a giant snake, was vaporized by the bronze tip. A Laistrygonian giant tore up a rock and threw it, narrowly missing a group of Athena campers. Three hellhounds ran rampant, slashing at three minor gods' children. A son of Morpheus went down with one blow. I ran to help him but by the time I'd gotten there the hellhounds had gotten shot by Apollo archers. A daughter of Iris bent down to check on the fallen half-blood. A son of Eris took his pulse and shook his head sadly.

I helped the Hephaestus cabin protect Zeus's cabin from a half dozen dracaenae. They nodded thanks to me and then I heard Nat's scream. She was trying to defend herself from an empousa. It wasn't much of a contest, Nat had only one knife.

Adonis pushed himself in front of her and tried to force the empousa back with his sword. It was futile, she was too quick. In one flick of her claws Adonis was disarmed. In a second, Nat was on the ground reeling from a slash to her forehead. The empousa purred, "I will have my revenge! But I think I can wait until after I've had a snack."

Before she could pounce I jammed my spear between her ribs, "Chew on this!" I shouted. With a shriek she turned to dust. I sneezed, "Ugh, I must be allergic to monster."

There wasn't much battle after that. The monsters fled as they lost the element of surprise. Chiron was trying to figure out how the camp borders had failed for such a short time. Nat was sent to be healed by the Apollo cabin, to Adonis's glee. I bet Arcus wished he could treat my gaping wounds. Three campers had died. Gale son of Morpheus, Aurelia daughter of Demeter, and… Madeleine. I had seen her as she died; I knew that she was going too even if everyone else denied it.

She had given me a look of such hatred it made me want to curl up somewhere and die too, "Your fault," She muttered, "some day."

We burned their shrouds that very night. Cassandra, daughter of Iris, said a few tearful words and then set the shrouds on fire. It was probably the saddest thing I ever saw. Second place came Nat and Adonis, united over a head wound. Third came Toby who had been hidden in the Hermes cabin with another demigod his age, Samantha daughter of Nike, and he had to listen to shrieks and grunts while hiding under a bunk bed. He was clinging to my leg right now. It was heartbreaking, besides being really uncomfortable.

Eventually we all shuffled back to our cabins. Some of us anyway. Nat and Adonis just sat in the mess hall talking. Toby was getting tired but he didn't want to go back to the unclaimed cabin so I laid him down on the ground and tried to keep the mosquitoes away. I was thinking. The sun was rising and I knew I looked horrible, messy hair, dark circles around my eyes, and the spear didn't really improve my appearance. I probably looked like a caveperson. I brushed monster dust from my camp T-shirt, much better. Notice the sarcasm. I remembered my mom signed me up for yoga class. It was a stupid waste of time but it had calmed me down like .5%. So I tried that now. I couldn't remember if I was supposed to go "Ohhhmmmm" and levitate of the ground or whatever so I just sat there. Five minutes into it I got a cramp and gave up.

I heard voices as the sun had just finished rising. Toby stirred a little and I expected him to wake up soon. But I wanted to hear those voices and identify them before I had to go back to our cabin. I think Nat fell asleep in the mess hall.

I crept a little closer to the lake. I felt like humming the Mission Impossible theme song. But that would blow my cover so I just hid behind a bush instead. When I saw who I was talking I was torn between three desires, to just sit there, to sneak away quietly, or to go up and ask which one of them was my father. Yeah you guessed it, or you should have, the 12 Olympians (plus Hades) were here.

They were deep in conversation with Chiron. The prettiest goddess stepped forward along with a fierce looking goddess in battle armor, Aphrodite and Athena. "For once I agree with Aphrodite. It is the work of the half-bloods of the recent prophecy." Athena said. My brain buzzed. Of course it was the prophecy that Madeleine was talking about.

Aphrodite spoke up, "And obviously those new half- bloods are to blame. Who else would have any reason to…kidnap and…cause the death of my daughters?" She blew her nose on a pink tissue.

Mr. D looked bored, "This would be the deadly prophecy of destruction right?"

Athena sighed, "Yes."

Mr. D swirled a can of Diet Coke in his hand. "And you think Tim, Mandy, and Naomi are the ones in the prophecy?"

Chiron looked pained, "Toby, Max and Nat. But yes."

"Whatever." Mr. D grunted.

At this point I was getting really mad. It was one thing for Aphrodite to suspect me and Mr. D to not care at all but for Chiron to not trust me that was something else. I decided to sneak off to my cabin and sulk for a while. I got a little way there but then I heard a shrill screech. I froze. Was there another monster hanging around? I gripped my spear tighter. I would like to have full body armor and a shield if I had to take on a strong monster all by myself but a spear would have to do. Despite a whole minute of planning and preparation I still didn't see it until it attacked.

New Pet Peeve, # 158 Anything that flies. That may sound stupid and vague but I doubt you have ever been attacked by a giant vulture. I realize now that it must have been the vulture that attacked Prometheus. I guess after he was freed it didn't have anything else to do but attack random people and attempt to rip out their liver. Now I'm no doctor but I feel certain that people need their liver to survive. So I wasn't happy with this turn of events. But I still have my pride so I will tell my story valiant General Custer style. I raised my spear bravely and after yelling a battle cry that alarmed the fearsome foe. I fearlessly charged into a battle that lasted three days and four nights until finally, after mortally wounding the beast, I collapsed and became an idol to many other demigods. And the Muses told epic poems about me and blah blah blah. Here's the less crappy and more accurate version. I lunged at the thing and kept it at bay for a full five minutes. But the thing was so huge it snapped my spear in half with its beak and I just stood there defeated, wishing I had some sedative I could take before my liver was removed.

Here comes another plot twist. Toby was woken up by all the commotion. He stumbled groggily toward me. But once he saw that I was in trouble his face got as alert as if he had drunk four cups of coffee and then taken a cold shower. He ran between me and the monster. "Toby no!" I screamed. That thing was going to pulverize him into a puddle of jello.

"Leave Max alone!" Toby yells. And then as the bird swoops down to tear out his liver, and kidney too for good measure, Toby swings his fist and hits the bird straight in its razor sharp beak.

Now usually if a normal six-year old punches you it's not a big deal. You're like, "ouch stop that." And then you move on. Now if you get punched by Toby, I now realize it _is _a big deal. That poor vulture didn't have a chance. It flew backward from the force of the blow and slammed into a tree. It then proceeded to explode into dust. Its goose was cooked, it was a dead duck, and I'm all out of bad puns. I turned to Toby in utter disbelief. Confusion was clear across his face. "How…how did you?" I stammered. It must have been at least 6: 45 because campers were getting out of their cabins to gawk at us. Or more precisely Toby.

"Did you see that?"

"He killed Prometheus's vulture!"

"I need to go pee!"

Annabeth approached us. She was muttering something, "Not good. Not good. So not good. Hera is going to be furious."

I was reacting a little slowly with this, "Why?" I asked.

Suddenly everyone gasped. A flashing storm cloud complete with lightning appeared over Toby's head.

Annabeth's face was grim, "That's why. Toby's father is Zeus, King of the gods. And not only that, he bears the gift and curse of Heracles."

**AN: Bet you didn't see that coming! If you think that Toby being claimed is completely random and makes no sense reread Chapter One and everything about **_**Mrs. Peafowl. **_**And then reread Greek Mythology and realize that Hera hates sons of Zeus. **


	6. Jeremy's Driving Skills Haven't Improved

**Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson**

Chapter Six: Jeremy's Driving Skills Haven't Improved 

I know what you're all asking. Can it get any worse for poor Max? Is she doomed to be second fiddle to a kindergartener? Will she finally be able to get a good night's sleep? Hopefully all these questions will be answered. Chiron told Toby and I to go back to our cabin. Oops, I meant Toby goes to the Zeus cabin and I go back to the unclaimed one where I fill Nat in one the recent events. I hope you believe me when I say I'm not jealous because I'm really not. It's just that Toby is not really the best hero material. He likes peanut butter and jelly, legos and I don't know if I can trust him with a sword or not.

But I guess he doesn't actually need a sword if he has super strength. That sort of scares me. Can't you see him throw a tantrum and killing someone in the process? I think Heracles (Aka Hercules) did the same thing to his music teacher. I can't blame him for that. Many a day in class I have daydreamed of Mrs. Folks spontaneously combusting.

When I finally started my day it was 10:00. I was hungry, irritated and tired. Nat asked me if I wanted to practice sword fighting with her. I agreed.

"Come on Max! You're such a slug today." Nat complained rolling her eyes.

"Urghflag." I grunted. I decided I liked spears better than swords.

Nat huffed. A look of anger flashed across her face. "Stop ignoring me Max. If something is bothering you tell me!"

I frowned, "No." I started to walk away when I discovered Nat's sword point was on my chest.

"Tell. Me." She said firmly. Her face tells me she's not joking. She really has changed since she was thrown into this weird world.

"Okay, let's go talk by the lake."

I sit down on the sandy shore by the lake. Nat trails her hand lightly in the water. She looks soothed. I suppose that a crystal clear lake is peaceful. If you're a fish.

"So…" Nat pries.

"It's about Toby and this whole mess we've gotten ourselves into." I say to start off.

"Too hectic?" Nat asks.

"Yes very. Compared to my old life that is. What about you? How does yours compare" I ask. She stiffens a little. Then she sighs.

"I live with my dad and we never did anything. He worked all the time and I only saw him at night. He bought me a lot of cool stuff but it didn't really make up for him not being there. We never took a vacation ever. He doesn't invite anyone over ever and we moved a lot. He didn't really want me to make many friends. He said they got in the way. I think he wants me to be a workaholic just like him." She grinned. "And that's why I rebel. I do as little of my work as possible, I go against the common views and I have friends. So really, at this point camp is one of the best things that's ever happened to me. I just wish I knew who my mother was."

That night I had a dream. Nothing really happened at first. I was just floating in space. But then suddenly I was falling. Clouds rushed past me as a plummeted toward the ground. Flying near me were Toby and a girl who looked almost exactly like him. Her hair was long and dirty blond and her electric blue eyes were big, like headlights. Their arms were wings. Toby's were a tan color but hers were pure white. She studied me with her huge eyes, "Should we catch her?" She asked in a voice that didn't sound worried just bored. Toby was flying loops around me.

"No." He said. They wheeled back into the air just as I hit the ground. The impact made a crater in the middle of a field. I hadn't died though. I was in a cornfield in the middle of Kansas it looked like. It was blisteringly hot and I couldn't move. It felt like I was tied down with invisible ropes. Two girls appeared out of nowhere. One of them looked about eighteen, two years younger than Jeremy, and she was tall, tan and had dark black hair with purple highlights and dark blue eyes. She was wearing a dark green tank top that stopped above her stomach so I could see her tattoo, two crisscrossed vines. The other girl seemed to be about my age. She was a little taller than me with blond hair and green eyes. She wore an old T-shirt with a peace sign on it. She smiled a nice smile but the other girl frowned.

"They're gonna catch you. They always do." Tattoo girl said.

"Because _he's _with them. He's crafty." The other girl said sincerely.

I struggled on the ground, "Who's he? Why don't you help me?"

"We're in no position to help anyone." Tattoo girl said gravely.

I woke up with a start. My hair was glued to my forehead with sweat. I couldn't tell whether the dream or something else had scared me. There was something hard under my pillow. I reached under it and found a bracelet. I pulled it put so I could get a better look at it. It was silver and ice cold. It had small dark beads on it. Even though it was rather plain compared to lots of other jewelry I had I loved it. I knew it was a gift from my father but I didn't know why he would suddenly give it to me. Then I learned why. There was a note in the middle of our cabin. I looked to see if Nat was awake and had seen it. She had but she was paying attention to something else. "Nat!" I whispered.

She started, "What? Oh… huh." She slipped something in her pocket as we knelt down on the floor to read the note. It said:

Deer Max adn Nat,

Come to te Camp broder rite nowe with Toby!!

Love,

Jeremy

P.S, bring supples

Stupid dyslexic Jeremy. That is why he types out every single one of his love letters. We gathered some clothes together and we even managed to steal I mean "borrow" a spear and sword. Stop giving us those looks! We're going to bring them back…I hope. When we did get to the camp border the whole Apollo cabin was waiting for us. "What is this all about exactly?" Nat asked. I fiddled with my new bracelet.

"Well there's this prophecy see, it claims you're going to cause a lot of trouble and that you _might _be three of the Seven Half-bloods who Shall Answer the Call." Arcus explained nervously. I nodded, I'd heard that prophecy. Storm, fire, death, and all that jazz.

"So what does the prophecy say exactly? You know, we really should ask the Oracle." I asked.

"There's no time. You've got to leave now!" Adonis hissed.

Toby crossed his arms, "I'm not going till you answer Max's question!"

Adonis sighed, "Jeremy's waiting but I'll tell you."

"_Two half-bloods whose parentages are a mystery._

_Must travel to the cape by the sea._

_With the strong one hand in hand._

_Hunted down across the land._

_They will meet the Four with the Crafty One._

_And bring discord and panic one by one."_

I blinked, "I don't get it."

"Well I'm guessing that the first line is you and me Max and the third line means Toby comes with us. We go to a cape by the sea and… someone is after us I think? That's all I get." Nat said, shaking her head.

"That's all anybody gets." Arcus said sadly. "Now go! The rest of camp is going to realize you're awake soon."

It wasn't Jeremy's Ferrari, it was the camp van. But it was still a car and Jeremy was still driving. I started praying. _Please father whoever you are; please prevent me from dying from Jeremy's bad driving. Yeah…that's all I've got. _

And then the van started. You think it's bad being in a car with Jeremy in the daytime. I had no idea how bad it was at night. "I think I'm gonna be sick." Nat mumbled.

"Then roll down the window. I don't want to see your barf." Jeremy said reproachfully.

"Where are we going anyway?" I asked. Nobody had bothered to explain that part to us.

"In all technicalities I'm not taking you anywhere. I'm just going to drive you out of the city. But if I were you I would shoot for Cape Cod Massachusetts." Jeremy said, honking his horn at an old lady driving a car.

"Oh gee, I wonder what gave you _that _idea." I muttered. Nat stuck her head out the window and made a retching sound. Toby was just sitting in his seat with his hands in the air like he was on a rollercoaster.

The old lady inched forward at two miles per hour. "Could you go any freaking slower!?" Jeremy shouted.

"Maybe she can't hear you because of her hearing aid." Nat wheezed from the backseat. Her face was a pale shade of green. And so was that necklace around her neck. Wait, I'd never seen that necklace before. I looked down at my bracelet I had unknowingly been gripping in my fist. Was that necklace a gift from her mother?

Jeremy cursed, "Code red it's the po-po!"

I blinked, "You mean the police are _finally_ going to pull you over and give you a ticket?"

"Actually at this point I'll get forty years in prison! The whole world thinks you guys were kidnapped! How would it look if I was pulled over with three beat up kids in my car?" Jeremy yelled.

Toby's face lit up with wonder, "This is just like my favorite television show! Floor it Jeremy! We can outrun them!"

Jeremy grinned, "With pleasure short stuff."

"Um excuse me but. Our families have no idea where we are?!" Nat cried out. Then she collapsed back into her seat. Her brief yelling fit seemed over and she looked nauseous again.

"Well um," Jeremy rubbed the back of his head, "No."

We could hear sirens getting louder. "Great, at this rate I'll have to dump you guys at a street corner." Jeremy muttered.

"They'll never take us alive!" Toby yelled. Wow that kid wasn't fazed by anything.

"A street corner? Well at least I know karate." I muttered. I really didn't care that my mom thought I was kidnapped. It served her right for keeping me in the dark all this time.

"I need to barf again." Nat gasped as she stuck her head out the window.

"Apparently only Toby here sympathizes with me," Jeremy shouted irritated. "So I've made up my mind." We were speeding toward a store. It had one of those big glass display windows with a bunch of manikins wearing fancy outfits.

I gasped, "You wouldn't!"

BAM! Glass shattered everywhere and the air bag inflated almost crushing my nose. An alarm was going off and the police were closing in. "Is everybody okay?" Jeremy asked.

"No." I muttered, but I don't think anybody heard me.

"I'll help you Max." Jeremy offered. He helped deflate the air bag and pulled me from my seat. I was not happy.

"I hate you. You're a load of Minotaur dung." I gasped.

He shrugged, "I've been called worse. See you later. I'll be staying at my friend's house." He winked as he said it and I got a feeling that his friend was a scantily clad female. Toby punched his way out of the van with our supplies and I surveyed the damage to the van.

"We are in so much trouble." Nat moaned scooping up a not so badly damaged skirt and blouse combo.

"Not if we die." I said morbidly.

"Thank you for those words of encouragement Max," She muttered. Then she saw me staring at the clothes she was taking, "I'm covered in barf!" She protested.

As we fled from the scene Toby was laughing, "Let's do that again!"

**AN: Another hint about Nat! All will be explained later. But thanks to the people who voted on my profile I have decided on a name for my PJOXHG crossover character, Cordelia. If you for some reason hate that name PM me with a suggestion.**


	7. Attack of the Twihard Empousa

**Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson or Twilight**

Chapter Seven: Attack of the Twihard Empousa

"I'm so tired." I moaned. We'd been walking around since our Fast and the Furious car ride. It must have been like, 6:30 in the morning.

"I have to find a Starbucks fast. My brain is shutting down." Nat muttered. She had changed into those stolen clothes in an alley we had found. They were pretty crumpled, the blouse sleeve was ripped, and the skirt was short (really short, like if I bend over you'll most likely get mooned short) but she still looked way better than Toby and I. We were still in our dirty camp shirts and looked like those orphans from Annie or Oliver Twist.

"You drink coffee?" I asked, not really interested. I just wanted to stay awake.

"My father and I are loyalists to the Starbuck's monarchy." Nat replied. She really did need some caffeine, she looked like a zombie.

"I don't drink coffee. My mom said that caffeine is bad for you and will ruin your brain. We drink orange juice and tea." Toby said matter of factly. He was being a brave trooper and I appreciated his hardiness.

Nat wrinkled her nose, "Eww. Are your parents tofu eating hippies?"

I elbowed her in the ribs, "Quit it. Get a grip on yourself."

That was probably not the best thing to say. Nat turned around, her eyes bloodshot, "I'll ignore that little comment for right now. I don't have enough energy to mess you up. But once I have my vanilla bean latte you are going down girlfriend!" She was breathing rapidly.

Toby backed up nervously, "I think Nat is having a breakdown." He whispered.

"You got that right." I replied. Toby giggled nervously.

"Stop laughing!" Nat screamed.

I put my arm around her, "Come on Nat let's find a Starbucks or at least a Duncan Doughnuts. We're starting to draw a crowd." It was true. We weren't in New York City anymore. Crazy people weren't the norm.

"That's better." She growled.

Twenty minutes and thirty frightened pedestrians later we were safely installed in a Starbucks. I was just trying to look inconspicuous as Nat drank her latte and Toby played with little toy cars he had smuggled away in his pocket. I tapped my fingers on our little table. Even this small stretch of boredom was enough to cause my ADHD to flare up, typical. I felt Nat stiffen besides me. I suddenly became alert. What happened? What had spooked her? Then I heard the voices.

"But Jacob looks so much hotter with his shirt off!"

"I'm still Team Edward all the way!"

"I love guys who sparkle!"

Nat's eyes narrowed, "I _hate _Twilight."

I rolled my eyes. She was upset by a bunch of girls obsessed with characters who didn't even exist? "I never read the series. You know because I'm dyslexic and all." I said shrugging.

"I listened to Twilight on audio book. It was the worst thing I'd ever heard. The only good uses for those books are for weapons and toilet paper!" Nat hissed. Gods, someone was very hormonal today.

One of the Twihard girls turned around. She glared at us, "Did you just say what I think you said?" Her hair was bright orange and I was wondering how I hadn't noticed that before.

Nat snorted, "Vampires are stupid. Especially sparkly vegetarian vampires." The girl rose from her seat and smiled evilly. Toby glared at her and started to say something but just then the girl turned into a snarling empousa. Well, I didn't see _that_ coming!

"Of course you had to anger a _real _vampire didn't you!?" I yelled as the empousa approached.

"Oops." Was Nat's only reply. Toby tried to through a chair at the monster but apparently super strength doesn't work all the time. Nobody thought to inform me of that.

The empousa shrieked as my spear came within a few inches of her weird legs, "I believe that we could come to an agreement!" She hissed.

"Monsters lie!" Toby yelled back. That kid's got guts I have to say.

"Son of Zeus you misjudge me. I only wish for that wicked girl over there!" She almost purred pointing at Nat.

"Yeah right! Like we would give you Nat!" I had to yell to be heard as mortals trying to get a caffeine buzz started to notice the Mortal Combat Demigod Edition taking place.

The empousa snarled, "Her kin killed my sisters and revenge will be ours at last once I have killed her!" Something clicked in my brain. Hadn't an empousa mentioned revenge on the night the camp was attacked? I hadn't thought anything of it then. I saw Nat mouth the words _throw your spear_ to me. I prepared to impale the empousa.

"And the time is now to kill the accursed daughter of…" She didn't get to finish as my spear passed through her and she turned into dust with a shrill scream.

**AN: I bet you can totally guess Nat's parentage now. In other news my PJOXHunger Games crossover is up! It's called ****The Most Dangerous Game of Olympic Proportions ****check it out!**


	8. Nat Becomes Fishgirl

**Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson or Igor**

**AN: Title is to obvious! Can't take it! *forces myself to type it***

Nat Becomes Fishgirl:

"I'm sorry I killed her before she told us who your mother was!" I apologized for the umpteenth time. We were in a shelter for runaways and I guess we met the qualifications. Anyway it wasn't like Nat was mad at me or anything she just seemed really disappointed. She hadn't smiled in the last five hours. Not even when Toby did his little victory dance over the empousa dust and fell on his face. I felt like I had to apologize and try to make her feel better.

A tough looking girl with multiple face piercings stuck her head in our "room". "You got any money?" She asked menacingly. Nat and I shook our heads vigorously.

Toby put his hand in his pocket, "I have two quarters."

I slapped my forehead, "We could've bought a soda with that!"

The girl looked at us suspiciously, "Have I seen you guys somewhere?" She inquired.

"No, I think we would have remembered your face." Nat muttered.

I glanced at the other girl nervously in case she had heard that. She didn't seem to be offended. Then her metal studded face lit up with realization, "You're those kidnapped kids!"

I mentally slapped myself. This was a stupid thing to do after what Jeremy had told us. Of course someone was going to recognize us!

Toby just stared at the girl, (I'm tired of calling her the girl, her new name is Metalhead.) "No we're not." He said confidently. He sounded as sure as if you had asked him if 2+2=4.

Metalhead didn't buy it though, "Yeah right _Toby Colson. _Don't go all Jedi on me. There's not much to do here but watch the news so I know what I'm talking about," She turned to me, "Kidnapped my a** more like runaways." She smirked at Nat, "Sorry girlie. I guess you've only been kidnapped once."

Nat's head shot up, "What are you talking about?" She asked scornfully. I winced. Nat sounded really down. Like down in the Underworld down.

A weird look shot across Metalhead's face. "You better come with me then."

We were on guard of course. We're not stupid enough to trust every single person like some _other_ heroes I've heard of. Toby promised he would punch people in the face to protect me. It's nice to see that a six year old's crush can last through all this.

We really didn't need to worry because we just went into a beat up old wreck rom. A couple of people had carved their initials into the wall. Apparently J.B. was here. Two other guys were chilling in a couple of ripped arm chairs watching a relatively new looking T.V. I hereby name those two guys Tough Nerd and Punk Rocker. Or T.N. and P.R. for short. "Hey Jessie, who are these losers?" P.R. asked not really caring.

"Our little abductees." 'Jessie' said.

Toby pointed at me, "I'm her boyfriend." He said sternly, letting the guys know I'm unavailable. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah whatever dude. Hey look you're on T.V. now. You're getting your fifteen minutes of fame." T.N. said gesturing at the television. I listened to the news anchor.

"_It's been three weeks into the abduction of Maxine McCarthy, Natasha Harlequin, and Tobias Colson from their school in New York City. At the moment there are no leads or ransom demands concerning the missing trio. But there has been stunning developments in the case of the kidnapped Natasha Lanham." _Nat's face contorted in horror. _"In 2002 Keshena Lanham, a famous Hawaiian surfer, reported her daughter missing after being unable to find her when she came to pick up Natasha from her daycare center. It has recently been confirmed that the kidnapper of Natasha Lanham was Keshena Lanham's divorced husband, David Harlequin. David Harlequin is now in custody but is not a person of interest in this more recent kidnapping."_

We sort of stood there stunned. Nat's mouth was wide open and her hand gripped her necklace obsessively. "I don't…I don't understand." She muttered softly.

Strangely T.N. patted her on the back, "I know how you feel. My sister and I were put into a foster home when we were ten." I was shocked too. Nat's whole life was a _lie. _My life was only half a lie but nothing about her was what it seemed. I opened my mouth to say something but Toby had used his super strength to wrap us all in a big hug.

Our love fest was interrupted by a sharp knock at the front door. The lady who runs the little runaway house went to answer it. We heard some voices, "We're looking for our children." A lady said in a voice that sounded worried and hopeful at the same time. But it sounded familiar.

Jessie stuck her head out the doorway and gasped, "It's that couple again! The one that took Pepper!"

"Who's Pepper?" I asked.

Toby asked, "Isn't it that spice that makes you sneeze?"

P.R. blinked trying to look nonchalant but he was still nervous, "Pepper's this girl with eyes…and a face."

T.N. fumbled nervously with a door at the other side of the room, "Oh quit it Jeff! Pepper's this girl who was not quite right in the head but still cool," he sighed wistfully. He digged her, "Tall, really tan, black hair with highlights and oh yeah, she had a tattoo." My brain sparked. Pepper was one of the girls from my dream!

"How was she 'not quite right in the head'?" I asked loudly. "Tell me."

T.N. looked startled, "She claimed monsters were after her."

Nat and Toby jumped, "Pepper was a…" They said at the same time.

"Aha!" The familiar voice screeched. It was the voice of our former kidnapper. The lady had only wanted Toby at the time. But she seemed to be after us all now. Behind her was one of the buff guys that had subdued us. "He said you would try to fulfill the quest and he was right!" The woman said maniacally.

"Get away!" Toby screamed. He picked up a couch in the corner of the room and threw it with all his might. The lady cried out in frustration and we ran into the other room. It was a bathroom. There are _surely_ to be guns or other lethal weapons in a bathroom, (note the sarcasm).

"There's a window I think I can break it." Nat said. I have to give kudos for my friend for being able to function after that news report. I'll thank her after we _die._

The two kidnappers entered the bathroom. They looked a little put off after the couch incident. But the woman seemed to bounce back easily. Now she even had a hungry gleam in her eyes. Like a hyena looking at a piece of rotting meat. Eww bad image…

"Are you going to come quietly? Or am I going to have to ask Igor shoot your pale companion?" The woman asked evilly. Igor pointed a gun at me. Where did that come from? Wait…Igor? The ugly muscular henchman's name is Igor? If there wasn't a good possibility of a bullet slamming into my chest I would laugh.

But Nat was able to laugh for me. She giggled a high pitched (and slightly insane) laugh. "You just don't get it do you? We're in a bathroom filled with showers and faucets," I widened my eyes. Nat hadn't been distraught. She had been thinking about who her father was. I guess it was sort of obvious what with the surfer bit and all. "And I'm a daughter of Poseidon." Nat finished.

Igor seemed to be stupider than his female companion. She caught on in time to curse and brace herself. Igor got a face full of water. I'm guessing his nose broke. In the midst of flying toilet water a swirling green trident appeared above Nat's head. "Good job Fishgirl!" I had to yell to be heard but Nat smiled. With Toby's help we busted a good portion of the window and the wall out and we made our escape.

**AN: Tada! I love my kidnapping idea. This is how you make a good Big Three fanfic. not that Im bragging. I'm just smart...and...clever...and modest.**


	9. Old McDonald had an Evil Cow

**Disclaimer: I don't earn Percy Jackson. The End.**

**Old McDonald had an Evil Cow:**

"I almost wish we had gotten kidnapped. At least it would have been better than sleeping in an alley." I muttered. We were resting in a (duh) alley next to an old sofa someone had thrown out. I was still sopping wet from Nat's exploding faucet tactic but for once it was sort of a relief, I hadn't had a shower in a long time and I was starting to feel like a hobo.

"Actually maybe getting kidnapped _would _have been a good idea." Nat speculated. She of course was not wet at all and ever since she had been claimed there was a bright spark in her eyes. I was pretty bummed about being the only one in our little group that was still not claimed. My birthday was in November and at this rate my dad whoever he was seemed to want to wait till the last minute. I can totally see myself getting claimed two minutes before I turn thirteen. Frick.

"Did you hear me Max?" Nat asked. I turned and she was staring at me a little worriedly. I felt a twinge of annoyance. Did she think she was the leader now just because she could go all water bender on us now? Well at least I have Toby the super charged six years old on my side. Literally, he fell asleep in my lap.

"No but if it's bad which it probably is than I don't want to hear it." I retorted. She looked hurt for a minute and I realized I had no reason to snap at her. Gods I hate puberty.

"I was just saying that maybe if we had gotten kidnapped we would have found the missing demigods." Nat argued, "But then again we would probably go missing after that."

"There's a good possibility of that Fishgirl." I agreed, trying to make up for what I said before.

"Don't call me Fishgirl." She said rolling her eyes.

"Well if Annabeth calls Percy Seaweed brain I call you Fishgirl." I replied matter of factly.

Nat pulled one of the cushions of the couch and laid on it. "You're so creative Max."

"Thank you very much, I was thinking of taking up poetry."

We both fell asleep soon after that. We had had a long disaster filled day and we had more to look forward to tomorrow. But a nightmarish day can't be complete without an ominous dream of death. So of course I had one.

I wasn't falling this time. I was in the middle of the ocean just floating. But it didn't feel like any water I had ever felt before. It was too sticky and warm and clung to me like paste. The water just kept going on and on forever and ever out to the horizon. The sun was setting but it was a cold silver sun and hardly did anything to light up my surroundings.

The water in front of me rippled as a figure rose out of the murky ink. It was Nat of course. But it was Nat with a fish tail like a mermaid. She didn't say anything and neither did I. We just floated for a while until Nat let out a piercing scream. Blood was spurting from her chest like the faucets she had recently exploded. The water surrounding us turned into blood and I could feel the life spill out of Nat lie a leaky pipe. I screamed.

When I woke up my clothes were dripping with sweat and my arm had little cuts on it from my nails gripping it too hard. The perfect start to a perfect day.

We took a bus to Cape Cod. We had unknowingly been in Massachusetts yesterday and after stealing some money from a church basket we were on our way. I'm gonna feel really bad about that act later but somehow Jessie back at the runaway shelter had picked my pockets for our last twenty dollars and we are technically charity cases ourselves.

"Now what?" Nat asked. We were in the middle of this old fashioned sort of area with a bunch of fruit stands and gift shops.

"Look! It's a petting zoo! I love petting zoos!" Toby said pointing it out. I was about to say no really fast because I did _not _want to smell like dirty farm animal at the moment when Toby gave me a pleading look, "Please Max please!"

Nat gave me a shrug that said she didn't care and Toby was clinging to my pant leg, "Whatever. But then we have to look around for…whatever."

"Maybe the secret hideout is under the goat pen." Nat suggested. In about five seconds I realized how big a mistake this had been. Little kids were swarming everywhere followed by their annoyed and rather smelly mothers.

"Wait is that a horse? I'm going to go talk to it!" Nat exclaimed.

"That is possibly the weirdest thing I've ever heard." I remarked. The palomino horse was nudging Nat with its head affectionately like in those cheesy Flicka movies.

"She's wondering if your hair is naturally curly or if you use a curling iron. She thinks you should get highlights." Nat called.

"The _horse _is giving me advice about my hair." I said slowly. Welcome to Looney town population 3. My train of thought was derailed by a splintering sound. Like wood breaking apart. Let me think, who in this place was strong enough to break wooden fences that hold in livestock?

"Toby!" Nat yelled, "What did you do!?"

"It wasn't me! It was the cowses! Run!" Was his response. The two cows had broken out of their pen and were chasing Toby through the petting zoo, freeing multiple other farm animals in their wake.

"Hera!" Nat spat.

"Undoubtedly." I replied. Nat's head cocked to the side as if someone had called her name. Then she nodded and started to undo the latch on the horse's pen.

"I'm not even gonna ask." I said. This was too much. A screaming soccer mom ran past me.

"Good." Nat replied. The horse galloped past me and reared up in front of the two cows. They backed up fearfully and Toby ran by to Nat and me. We just blended in with the hysterical crowd and soon enough we were on another bus.

"That was stupid," Toby grumbled, "I didn't even get to pet the goatses."

**AN: Just to be clear Toby was talking like that on purpose. I did the same thing when I was six. This chapter was more of a filler chapter except for the dream. The dream is much importanto.**

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	10. We Get Covered in Dessert

**Disclaimer: I (unfortunately) do not own Percy Jackson. But someday I will! *evil laughter***

**We Get Covered in Dessert:**

We booked ourselves one room in a small rather rinky-dink motel. This would not have been a place where I would have chosen to stay if we weren't low on cash. As it was we were now dirt poor. The feeling of reaching into your pocket and not finding at least ten dollars was a shocking new sensation for someone who in their normal life was rich. Then there was the feeling that I was left out of some secret inner club because I wasn't claimed. Being left out wasn't new. That didn't mean it totally didn't make me feel crappy inside whenever I thought of my unknown father.

I was sleeping on a coffee table next to an old T.V. Not comfortable you say? I look uncomfortable in the eye and laugh. I spit at uncomfortable's feet. Yeah it sucked. But I wasn't going to sleep in a lice infested bed. My moral had taken a beating already, I wasn't gonna lose my hair too. Nat was sleeping in the bath tub. The bathtub was thankfully empty. I guess there was just so much water a Fishgirl could handle. Toby was sleeping on the couch. He had gotten the best sleeping arrangements thanks to the fact that he was the baby of the group. I honestly felt sorry for him. This must be so hard for him.

It must have been at least early morning when Toby tapped on my shoulder. I tried to squeeze my eye shut again but sunlight had already pierced my corneas.

"Max. I think you should wake up now." Toby whispered loudly.

I grunted, "Five more minutes." I rolled over and fell of the table. Ow! Eww. I didn't know you could fit that much gum under a coffee table.

"I think the monster will get us by then." Toby said doubtfully. That woke me up fast! Who needs an alarm clock when there are who knows how many monsters are after you?

I leapt to my feet and grabbed my weapon out from under the table. I was ready to make some monster sushi until I saw them. Oh Gods this was not good. Two huge black snakes were slithering across the floor toward us. They weren't your ordinary garden snakes, they flowed like lava across the carpet and their eyes were just dark pits of hate.

"Wow…" Nat muttered fearfully through the open bathroom door. "Hera must really hate you Toby."

Toby however didn't look too concerned. "They're just monsters. Max will get them."

"Will she?" I asked nervously standing on top of the coffee table. I'm sorry but snakes were just another creature on my Pet Peeve list. They were pretty high on that list too, right after water and shaving cream (don't ask).

"No I don't think she will." Nat agreed. One of the snakes lashed out its tail and smashed one of the table legs. I leapt onto the couch with Toby. This was not going well. The snakes hissed at us. Their mouths were dripping with poison spittle. The only one who could beat them was Toby. But he wasn't really…ready for that right now.

"Nat! Distract them!" I yelled, it was a long shot but maybe we could get away from them.

"Sure Max. When I die, stay away from my funeral." Nat said morbidly. She sprang nimbly out of the bathroom toward the fridge. The snakes turned toward the only source of movement. She struck a karate pose (not a very good one I might add) and started to wave her arms, "I call this the dance of the rattle snake." She then proceeded to do a mixture of ballet, break dancing and cheerleader moves. None of which resembled a rattlesnake whatsoever.

I was hoping the snakes would pass out and die from this outrageous display of bad dancing but no. They were hypnotized by the only movement in the room. They would only strike if Nat stopped dancing. We couldn't keep this up for long. I whispered to Toby through the side of my mouth, "Execute emergency escape plan B."

The art of being quiet was lost to Toby, "What's emergency escape plan B?" He asked loudly. The snakes turned quickly toward us. It seemed like they remembered that they were sent to kill us.

"Punching through the wall is emergency escape plan B!" I yelled.

"Oh." Toby then punched a good sized hole through the wall. The snakes were coming for us again.

Nat was on the other side of the room, "I'll just go out the window." She said calmly.

My mouth dropped open, "You're going to jump out the window!"

Nat rolled her eyes. "We're on the first floor. I'll meet you at that store across the street."

I should have sensed something odd about that store as soon as I set foot in it. But I didn't and that put our whole quest in a lot of danger.

It was any normal bakery. There were pastries and brownies on display, there were racks of bread behind the counter and there was even a little sign that said 'Since 1925'. There was only one little bite-sized problem. There was no one there! Not even a cashier. I'm guessing the only reason I didn't realize this sooner was because I was _so freaking hungry!_ Or maybe I'm just stupid. Take your pick.

"Do you think it would be bad to um, _take _some brownies without paying?" Nat asked hopefully.

"Yes. That doesn't mean I'm not going to do it anyway." I said eagerly.

"Pie!" Toby (randomly) yelled. Needless to say an apple pie had (randomly) appeared on the counter in front of us.

"We may be hungry but isn't that just a little coincidental?" Nat asked nervously.

"What's coin-ci-dental mean?" Toby asked, making sure to point out every syllable.

"It means that this is too good to be true and that in about five seconds that pie is going to explode into some hideous monster that wants to kill us!" I replied. I was partially right I suppose. It did explode.

Thankfully a pie really can't make a blast powerful enough to kill you. We were however covered in sugary pie filling. Toby was licking some off his arm, "I don't think it's a monster Max. It tastes good." He said happily.

"Dang it! These were our only clothes left!" Nat wailed.

"I know. Such a shame right? That pie bomb was another silly invention of my husband." Said a sing-song voice.

Behind the counter was the most beautiful woman we'd ever seen. Except I'd seen her before. "Aphrodite!" I exclaimed.

"Hi!" Toby said perkily.

Aphrodite smiled, "Hello Toby! You're such a nice boy."

I raised my eyebrow, "But I thought you hated us because you think we kidnapped the other demigods?"

Aphrodite smile slipped about a centimeter, "But that was before you went on this quest. You're so determined now. I know you could never be responsible for what happened. In fact, if you complete my test I'll even help you on your quest!"

"What test?" Nat asked suspiciously.

Aphrodite didn't answer her question but instead started talking wistfully, "Oh Nat! You have such a love life ahead of you! So simple though, compared to Max's…"

I opened my mouth wide, "What love life?" I didn't even like anyone! Arcus and I…_not _going to happen.

Aphrodite wiggled her finger, "No more time for talk. You have to sort all this bread," thousands of loaves of bread appeared on the floor, "Before 8:00 and I'll help you. If not well…I'm sure you'll figure out a good excuse to give to the police." We closed our eyes as she assumed her godly form. Then we were alone again.

**AN: Hello readers of fanfiction! I have an important announcement to make! Anyone who has a good idea for a new title for this story needs to give it to me in a review. This story is just screaming for a new title and my brain just turns up a blank. So if you have ideas please R&R! **

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	11. Be Kind to our Small Furry Friends

**AN: I have almost decided on a new title. It is most likely going to be ****Fishgirl + Heracles Jr + Me = Disaster****! However, I am still accepting suggestions please!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own PJO or a bakery. Now I'm hungry!**

**Be Kind to Our Small Furry Friends:**

We stared at the piles of bread hopelessly. Cinnamon, pita, raisin, white, whole wheat, and a bunch of others I couldn't name. We would never in a million years be able to sort all of it. And we only had two hours before the cops showed up and dragged us off to juvi. If I had a criminal record I would never be able to fulfill my dream of becoming President of the United States!

"I'm not a baker! I don't know anything about bread except that it tastes good with peanut butter!" Nat raged.

"It does taste good." Toby agreed eating a slice of raisin bread with some pie filling that still clung to our clothes.

"Well this loaf looks like that loaf so let's put them together." I said, and then I stopped. This was so impossible it wasn't even funny. We were never ever ever ever going to complete this test. We were going to fail our whole quest because some goddess thought it would be funny to mess with us. I was suddenly filled with rage like I'd never felt before. I was mad at Aphrodite, no scratch that, I was mad at _everybody_. I was mad at Chiron and everybody at camp for doubting us, I was mad at those crazy lab coat kidnappers for starting this whole mess, I was mad at the Crafty One whoever he is for framing us and kidnapping our fellow cambers, but most of all I was mad at my father for not bothering to claim me even after everyone else got claimed and for not even vouching for us when we were accused.

"Max," Toby whimpered, "You're scaring me."

I realized that my face was screwed up into a face of pure hatred, "Oh I'm sorry Toby. I'm just…"

"So filled with hatred that you wish you could crawl into a hole and not come out till the next ice age?" Nat suggested glumly.

"Yeah something like that." I muttered. Just like Nat to try and attempt some humor.

Nat rested her chin on her hand, "Well if we're going to be arrested soon we might as well confess." She said.

I looked at her like she had sprouted another head, (It could happen. Didn't starfish grow their limbs back?) "Are you crazy!? I'm not telling the police anything! Hello Mr. Cop, you can't really arrest us because the series of unfortunate events following our kidnapping is actually the fault of a bunch of psychos trying to re-kidnap us. Why don't we talk about this over doughnuts?" I yelled.

"Chocolate doughnuts!" Toby added enthusiastically.

Nat held up her hands like she was trying to stop traffic. "That's not what I meant! I meant confess our um…sins to each other! So we feel closer to each other in our time of need!" I had a feeling that this would not go well…

Nat's eyes bulged, "Oh my gods Max! I didn't know you could do that much damage with lipstick!"

I pointed an accusing finger at her, "Well, I'm sure those Twihards will want to have a word with you! Once they get out of the hospital!"

"Flying Pizza Gods aren't real are they?" Toby asked nervously.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, "Well this was a total epic fail."

Nat nodded, "And we only have thirty minutes before it's game over."

Just then we heard a scuffling sound in the walls. Like thousands of little nails scratching at plaster. As a matter of fact, that was exactly what the sound was.

"The Flying Pizza God is real!" Toby cried, grabbing my arm.

"It's not the Flying Pizza God. It's a bunch of…" Nat started to say. Then a furry little head poked its way through the wall. And it brought a lot of friends.

"Mice!" I exclaimed. I had never had a problem with rodents. Especially not mice. I thought they were really cute. Once my friend's pet mouse had a litter of mouse-lets and I had brought one home with me. My mom had seen it. Apparently my ancestors had been great opera singers. I'd had to pay for that window.

The mice busted their way through the walls and started to swarm over the floor. There were enough of them to give every exterminator on the planet a heart attack. And they weren't normal looking mice. They were creamy brown colors and one of them was even gold. They started to scurry toward the bread.

"Maybe they're really really hungry." Nat suggested queasily. It was obvious that these mice made her skin crawl.

"If they eat all the bread does that count as us acing the test?" I wondered. The mice absolutely covered the bread. But to my disappointment they didn't eat the bread. They started pulling loaves in different directions. It was almost as if they were…

"They're sorting the bread!" I said confused.

"Cool!" Toby exclaimed.

"That can't be sanitary." Nat said wrinkling her nose.

The mice sorted the bread into around ten different piles. Besides for a nibble here and there they didn't even eat much of it. But if they had I really wouldn't have been able to blame them. They were so cute with their little cheeks full! Once they had finished the golden mouse, he must have been their leader or something, squeaked sharply at them. The mice scurried back into the holes in the wall. The golden mouse pulled a tattered piece of paper out of one of the holes. He nudged it toward us with his nose and then dove into the hole and vanished.

The note was typed in perfect English but I still could hardly read it.

Deer, Max (and freinds)

I polled soem strings to gte my fthaer to help you. You owe ym.

Love,

Jeremy

Suddenly Aphrodite appeared in front of us. She was pouting and looked really reluctant to be here, "Why is it that nobody bothers to take my tests themselves? They always have to cheat." She complained. I shrugged and she sighed, "Well I promised I would help you so I will," She pointed at Nat and me, "Use your gifts. They'll help you." Gifts? What gifts? Then I remembered. I looked down at my wrist. The bracelet was still there long after I had forgotten about it. Maybe it turned into a weapon or something.

Aphrodite turned to Toby and smiled, "Now Toby. You must remember that you're not complete until she helps you. Amy is the key."

Toby frowned, "Whose Amy?" He asked.

Aphrodite winked, "You'll find out soon enough." Then she turned to face the door. It immediately blew open, "Go to the building next door. You'll find who you're looking for there." She finished. We closed our eyes again as she assumed her godly form. Once she was gone we set off to (try) and finish our quest.

The moment we saw the building next door we knew we were in trouble. It was a tall imposing building made of marble bricks. We started to climb the steps when a mysterious voice said, "Ah yes. The children of the Big Three arrive!"

**AN: Can anyone guess who the mysterious voice is. And no, the Crafty One is **_**not **_**Kronos. I know all you guys were probably expecting that but it's not. The Crafty One was in PJO. Book Five people. Please somebody get it…**

**In other news I've decided on the title for the sequel to this story as well! ****Is the Enemy of My Enemy My Friend? Or Boyfriend? ****Yes, there will be romance.**

2


	12. If U See Amy and all Those Other Guys

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO or a Toxifork, Seawing, ****Antiobliterator Mortar etc**

**AN: Just ignore the controversy behind the song title chapter. Please just…don't.**

**If U See Amy (and All Those Other Guys):**

A tall man in a tuxedo stood before us. I could have sworn that he hadn't been there two minutes ago. His hair was pulled back in a ponytail and he was wearing round glasses like Harry Potter. The real attention grabber however, was his face. Not that he was ugly or anything but it looked like my neighbor's psycho cat Killer had gotten to him. Either that or a tragic weed whacker accident.

"Who are you?" Nat asked, her eyes riveted on his scars.

"Well I'm guessing you're the Crafty One." I growled. My hand flew to my bracelet. I had no clue how to work it or even what it really did, but that didn't mean I wasn't going to fight like a ticked off Clarisse to destroy this guy.

The Crafty One (if that was who he was) nodded, "Excellent deduction my dear Max. Although my actual name is Prometheus."

I nodded, "I had a run in with your vulture. No wonder you're evil now." I said bluntly. We had been looking for the evil guy who had been kidnapping demigods and placing the blame on us for the past few weeks. It just so happened to be the guy who had made mankind. So what? I wasn't going to play nice.

Prometheus sighed and looked pained, "I wouldn't say I am evil, more like trying to better mankind. Unfortunately for you that means that demigods are not going to be hiding out at your little camp any longer. How much do you think technology would increase if the humans discovered the world that they didn't even know existed? Farmers able to grow crops with minimal effort. Fishermen able to practically call fish into their nets. Or maybe even police officers able to call ghosts forth to help solve a murder," He looked straight at me for a while, "We have a few demigods here in this compound. None of them as powerful as you Toby, Nat…Max."

I shook my head, "No I'm not claimed. I'm not… wait…Are you saying?" I stammered. The realization hit me like a ton of bricks, "Holy freaking shitake mushrooms."

Prometheus nodded sadly as the entrance to the building burst open. It was the woman who had been tormenting us for our whole quest and even before that too. She was holding a strange device and pointed it at me. Two goons came behind her and pointed their weapons at Nat and Toby. The lady smiled smugly, "Welcome to the School for Augmented Development." Then she pulled the trigger and the world blacked out.

****

When I came to I was in a blaring white room that was rank with the smell of antiseptic and floor cleaner. It made me feel sick. I stayed on the floor and tried to keep my stomach contents down. Quite meager stomach contents by the way.

A voice near my ear said sarcastically, "The antiobliterator mortar, side effects may include dizziness, drowsiness, nausea and uncontrollable diarrhea. It paralyzes the muscles after forcing the body into unconsciousness. Very useful I might add. Buy if I ever got my hands on one of those babies…"

I groaned and sat up slowly, "Uncontrollable diarrhea, seriously? I thought that this place was supposed to advance technology. I looked at the girl sitting next to me. It was one of the girls from my dream, "You're Pepper right?"

The girl frowned her dark blue eyes became clouded with suspicion, "How did you know my name?" In one swift move she had a pair of celestial bronze numchucks ready to come down on my head, "You're a spy aren't you?! Any last words?"

I swallowed, my throat dry, "Um…quest?"

The maniac fire went out of her eyes, "Oh." Her numchucks turned into a hair clip with engraved grapes. She relaxed on the floor, "Yeah I'm Pepper, daughter of Dionysus. You?"

"Max daughter of um…Hades." I said. I felt a little embarrassed which was very unlike me. Wow I was cousins with Toby and Nat. Guess Toby couldn't marry me now.

Pepper raised her eyebrows, "Wow Mandy. I'm guessing those two over there are your fellow quest members?" She asked pointing in a corner. Nat was awake but Toby was still unconscious, leaning against Nat.

"It's Max. But yeah that's them." I ran over to Nat's side.

She looked at me relieved, "You're awake! But Toby…he won't wake up Max! I don't know what to do!"

I pressed my hand to his forehead then I pulled it back quickly. His temperature was too low. His head was clammy and cold.

"I don't know what's wrong with him. I don't feel his life force fading or anything." I said nervously. It was true I didn't feel any different at all.

"Maybe I should check him out." Said a voice out of nowhere.

I jumped startled, "Who's there?"

A spot in the air shimmered, "Oh right you can't see me. I forget sometimes. It's easier being blind if everyone else is too." A boy just appeared. Became un-invisible I guess. He was Hispanic and was wearing a blindfold over his eyes. Even though he couldn't see me he seemed to know exactly where I was, "I'm Jace, son of Hecate. Invisibility is my specialty"

"And I'm Max daughter of Hades. I guess dead things are my specialty." I joked.

Suddenly Toby lashed out, "She's so close! I can feel her." He muttered. Then he went still again. Jace put his hand on Toby's cheek and frowned.

"What's wrong with him?" Nat asked anxiously.

Jace shrugged, "I don't know. Insanity is Pepper's specialty."

Pepper brought out her numchucks again, "Come over here and say that to may face Jack!"

Jace didn't even turned; his sightless face still was on Toby, "Put your Omnichucks away. Do you want to be put in a straightjacket again?"

Pepper rolled her eyes, "No straightjacket can contain the great mind of Pepper!"

Nat's face lit up, "They didn't take our weapons away! When they come to feed us or something we can ambush them and…"

Jace interrupted, "No dice they're all mortals except Prometheus. Celestial bronze doesn't affect them."

Nat looked disheartened, "Well I don't even know what this does anyway." She sighed unclasping her necklace and rubbed the jewel in the center. She gasped as it expanded into a double sided sword. She read the inscription at the hilt, "Seawing." She twirled it like a baton, "Awesome."

I took my bracelet off and stared at it. I poked it, nothing happened. I rubbed it, nothing happened. Finally when I was about to throw it at the wall in frustration it turned into a long spear tipped with Stygian iron. It must be changed by my anger.

Pepper looked at me expectantly, "You've got to name it something. I've got my Omnichucks, Nadine has her Seawing, Jamie has her Natureblazer sword and Andy has her Nucleorattler."

I gripped my spear tightly, "And Max has her Toxifork." Come on, it had a nice ring to it. Then I frowned, "Who are Jamie and Andy?" I asked.

The door to our little prison opened and a little girl with dirty blond hair was shoved roughly in. Her eyes were bright blue and her she looked around, her lips pursed like a pouting child.

Toby's eyes flew open, "Amy!" He exclaimed gleefully.

The girl smiled, "Brother!"

**AN: I have to thank Kaleidoscope Flowers for posting the link to the ****Seventh Sanctum ****website. How else could I have come up with names like Toxifork or ****Antiobliterator Mortar? Seriously I advise everyone to check that out. Especially if you can't think of a good name for anything. Has anyone here read Maximum Ride? This story is really starting to remind me of that now. I mean notice the Jace/Iggy similarity. Amy and Toby are siblings like Gazzy and angel. I mean the main characters names are both Max! Coinkydink? Yes actually…**


	13. The Monkey Question is Answered

**Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson**

**AN: Okay. I was rereading the first chapter of this story and I realized something. I helped introduce max by saying "My name is…" That is the absolute most cliché way to introduce a character ever! *head desk* *head desk* *head desk* Better now. The only excuse I have is that I was naïve when I first started this story. New Contest! Whoever can find a Max-ish way for her to introduce herself wins…FIVE MILLION DOLLARS!!! (Plus taxes)**

**The Monkey Question is Answered**

I blinked once. Then twice. Then a third time. Amy was the girl with wings from my dream a long time ago. So she was Toby's sister. No they looked about the same age. Twin?

Nat looked awestruck, "Wow do you have a telepathic connection or something?" I remembered how Nat listened to books on audio tape back at school. She must know all about that sci-fi stuff.

Amy shook her head, "We're with each other in our dreams," She turned to me, "Hi Max! Toby told me all about you! You too Nat!" Did anyone but me think she was a little more advanced than your average six year old? I understood why Toby hadn't told us about his dream meets with Amy. I hadn't told anyone about my dreams. A shiver ran up my spine. My dreams had been right so far. I really hoped that one with all the blood wasn't though…

"Amy has been here the longest of all of us." Jace said, fixing his blindfold that had started to slip.

That reminded me of something, "How many of you are here anyway?" I asked.

Amy counted everyone off on her fingers, "Jessica, Pepper, Jace, me, and you three."

"What about Julia, Crusoe and Ida?" Nat asked worriedly.

Pepper leaned in closer a sneaky look on her face, "They're invisible!" She whispered.

"There's nobody here by those names." Jace said surely, "I may be blind but I'm not deaf."

Toby, Nat and I just stared at each other aghast. We had come to the wrong place and we hadn't found the right demigods.

"But the Oracle said!" I protested. This could not be happening.

"Maybe another part of Cape Cod…" Amy suggested. Toby must have told her about the prophecy.

"Can we go home now?" Toby asked. He was sort of missing the point.

Nat looked thoughtful for a minute, "You know, the prophecy never said anything about us finding the three kidnapped half-bloods."

"Yes it did!" I argued, "It said something about finding four…Oh…" I think I got it now.

"_Two half-bloods whose parentages are a mystery._

_Must travel to the cape by the sea._

_With the strong one hand in hand._

_Hunted down across the land._

_They will meet the Four with the Crafty One._

_And bring discord and panic one by one."_

Nat recited.

Toby counted, "Everyone's here. 'Cept for Jessica."

Jace nodded, "They're studying her to see how she can make plants grow so easily. She's a daughter of Demeter."

"I still don't like that last line of the prophecy." I said grimly. Discord and panic was never a good thing.

"Neither do I." Nat muttered.

"I do!" Pepper exclaimed. Being the daughter of Dionysus who was the god of wine and insanity must contribute to her unstable personality. She must have been the life of the party.

I just got a great idea, "My brain hatched an idea!" I announced.

"Lay it on me." Nat giggled.

Pepper burst out in peals of laughter, "Pun!" We waited till she quieted down. Then she frowned, "Would you guys shut up so that Max can say her idea? Gosh!"

"Okay… Well now that Toby's awake he can use his super strength and over power the guards."

Jace sighed, "No can do. You see these anklets we all wear?" I looked down at my foot. There was a steel band on it that I hadn't even known was there.

"It makes our powers not work." Amy explained.

"Well this sucks." Nat grumbled, "Don't you agree Ghostgirl?"

For a minute I had no idea who she was talking to. Then I raised my eyebrows, "Ghostgirl? I'm Ghostgirl now?"

Nat shrugged, "I'm Fishgirl you're Ghostgirl. Now Toby just needs to be Strongboy and we'll have a super hero team."

We laughed. Then I looked at Nat, "You know what Nat? Your personality hasn't changed that much."

Nat looked thoughtful, 'But the rest of my life has. If we survive this I'm going to have to think about whether I want to go live with my mom who I don't know in Hawaii or stay at camp all year long. Really Max, You've changed more."

I was surprised. I didn't _feel _any different, "How?'

Nat smirked, "Back at school you just avoided everyone. You had a great personality and everything but you never expressed yourself. Now you just go out and speak your mind."

What she said was totally true. Back before any of this all happened I just said everything I wanted to say in my head. And now I couldn't hold anything in if you paid me. I wasn't sure if that was a child of Hades trait or anything. I didn't think so. I hope dad didn't disown me.

Pepper sniffled, "Group hug everybody!"

Thankfully it never came to that. A little army of scientists came through the door. The lead one spoke, "We need the one who manipulates water, the one who can control the dead, and the one with super strength and the ability to control electricity."

Nat got to her feet, "We'd better go One who Can Control the Dead."

I laughed, "Yeah, come on One with Super Strength and the Ability to Control Electricity."

Nat cupped her hand over her face and whispered to the scientists, "He's an Indian."

I gasped, "Nat! It's called Native American!" The lab guys turned bright red and Jace and Amy were trying to control their laughter. Pepper wasn't. She didn't seem good at controlling anything.

The thing about these scientists was that even if they had PhDs they didn't seem to understand that kids with ADHD just weren't going to listen to them. We were stuck in a classroom like room with a scientist babbling about how we were going to help improve the world. I'm sure it must have been a grand speech but this was what I was thinking the whole time. _Yeah crop rotation great…You really need to trim your nose hair…the next time I go to Wal-Mart I'm going to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway. _As you can see I was pretty far out there. Nat looked like she was too and Toby was behind me so I couldn't check.

The scientist guy finally finished his lecture, "Any questions? He asked excitedly.

Nat blinked, "You're done already? She asked incredulously.

Toby raised his hand and the scientist called on him, "Do girl monkeys have boobs?" He asked.

Wow. Some of us were a little more out there than others.

The scientist stammered, "I suppose so. Why is it so important?"

Toby shrugged, "I was just wondering. Girls have boobs so why not monkeys?"

Nat stared at him, "You are _never _going to have a real girlfriend with that type of attitude."

**AN: Now for some reason I'm getting very nit picky about this story. So I'm instituting a new policy. It's called, "Everyone's a Beta" All the readers of this story are encouraged to read my story looking for grammar and spelling mistakes, OOCness, Mary-Sueness and other problems. So R&R people!**


	14. Author's Note

**Author's Note:**

I've just replaced the old chapter one with a new edition. I've realized that fixing up the first few chapters might take a lot longer than I thought. Mostly because my computer with all my files crashed. That was the computer with the files for this story and my Friends by Fire story which is immensely harder to write. My motivation for updating my PJO stories is around -70% percent right now.

Additionally, I'm not very happy with this story at the moment. I like to think I've become a better author since I've first joined and that's the reason why. This story, or at least the beginning, seems really blah. So since I'm really trying to fix the chapters that need to be fixed I might as well get some help. Anyone willing to be a beta reader for this story is encouraged to PM or review pronto. Please note that I have the right to choose who gets to beta this story.

In the meantime I'll try to fix up chapter two. That and chapter three are going to be really hard if what I have in mind us going to have to happen.

The End


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